Flooded with off-key carousel
music days careen by, dizzying
thoughts, meaning more blown out
than a famous self-taught trumpeter’s cheeks.
Patted down & packed into shrinking
seats, I feel myself ballooning into less.
Flew away yet took it all with me, on fire
doused in northwest tranquility. Obscured
by clouds in the brain, I knew a mountain
was in there somewhere. Yet nothing
cooled me off, not even wading pale feet
in glacial run-off. Faded blue peaks
& white waves, endless pebbles worn smooth
& unnecessary. Nina’s autocorrect texts
that I’m “a lil sideways & lonely,”
& while incomplete, it’s never been more
true. Traveled 2200 miles from
& back to ruin, unable to shake
what gnaws. Stumbled inside the front door
with a suitcase full of sea rocks
& dirty clothes that cover pounds of anguish.
Beauty has maimed me forever—
I know her by her full, natural name.
I’m caught in the meanwhile as summer
barrels toward fall
& every question whittles
down to do I keep dragging flesh
off my soul or cut the damn line?
Kamilah Aisha Moon is the author of Starshine & Clay (2017), featured on NPR’s “All Things Considered” as a collection that captures America in poetry, and She Has a Name (2013), a finalist for the Lambda Literary Awards. Her work has been published widely, including in Harvard Review, Poem-A-Day, PBS Newshour, Boston Review, Prairie Schooner, Buzzfeed and elsewhere. A 2015 New American Poet who has received fellowships to Vermont Studio Center, Hedgebrook and Cave Canem, she holds an M.F.A. from Sarah Lawrence College and is an Assistant Professor of Creative Writing at Agnes Scott College.
